Mar 02

What Makes Our Marriage Work- Work through Different Points of View

disagreement Karen is probably the most agreeable person that I have ever met.  If I said I wanted to quit my job and pursue some other personal goal I would get her full support.  Not that I have any life altering plans in the mix because those are already coming to fruition and she will be here sometime in June.  I also will support Karen in any endeavor she is willing to take on.   A keystone to any healthy relationship is the fact that knowing that no matter what decisions are made, support will be given.  Life is made up by the big the decisions that define who we are, but it is the day-to-day decisions that make up a couple.  That is where things can get tricky because no matter how great your relationship is no couple is ever going to see eye-to-eye on everything.

What Karen and I have come to realize is that when we reach a point that we cannot agree on something it is better to do one of three things before it becomes a wedge between us.  First thing we try to do is explain the pros and cons of our position.  Second we explain how important our side of the issue is to us.  Third if all else fails and we are still at a roadblock it is better to agree to disagree than to continue to be stubborn about it.

I feel truly blessed because I am married to Karen.  While there are a countless reasons while I am so lucky, one of the main ones is because she will let me have my way on an issue if she knows that if it is really important to me.  Even though she can be stubborn at times which can be a good thing because there have been a few times that she has kept me from committing a few errors and she was only able to do that by sticking with her opinions.  Especially when it comes to the house and some the decorating ideas that I have had, she has saved this house from countless errors.   At other times she can see that I am passionate about it and give in, and I try to keep the same attitude and be a willing partner to her, but she makes it look so natural.
agree to disagree

Luckily for us most of the big important issues adults have to make in life we are pretty much on par with each other, but some of the small stuff can lead to some discussions about which way is right.  When we reach an impasse and we are both being stubborn we have found it best to agree to disagree.  We understand that we will have a difference from time to time which  only shows that we have a healthy relationship.  If we came to the same conclusion on everything that would just be one boring relationship.  What we have learned in our short time of being married is that if we talk calmly and each give our reasons for the decision that most of the time one of us is convinced by the other’s persuasive points.  I would like to say that I win most of these discussions, but alas it is not meant to be and the reason for that is rather simple, Karen is much smarter than me.

So the next time you and your significant other are not seeing eye-to-eye pretend you are on a television show and are competing lawyers knowing that if you lose your cool you will lose the case.  If after you have stated your case and still cannot come to a conclusion then show your love for the other by giving in if they are truly passionate about their side of the discussion.  Now if you are both equally passionate about it come to the adult decision and agree to disagree.

Pictures via http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A7PjUTfKK-A/TbmqKulSyII/AAAAAAAAADs/kf6nH1wdysU/s1600/husband-wife.jpg

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  1. cecilia

    Good advice!

    1. Kenny and Karen

      Thanks, I just call it like I see it.

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